Books: Kathryn Kusyszyn Reviews 'Off Kilter: A Woman’s Journey to Peace with her Scoliosis, her Mother, & her Polish Heritage', by Linda C. Wisniewski
This month, TOPS associate and friend Kathryn Kusyzsyn reviews 'Off Kilter: A Woman’s Journey to Peace with her Scoliosis, her Mother, & her Polish Heritage', by Linda C. Wisniewski.
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This is a memoir written by the author in her sixties, looking back on life, mainly her difficult childhood. She is clear that her memories are imbued with emotional energy, and how she views her past changes during the course of the book. Linda draws a portrait with words of her experience growing up Polish and Catholic in a small America town. Scoliosis plays a minor part in the story.
Linda explores the overall themes of the book—self-acceptance and the rejection of martrydom—on many levels, most notably in accepting her mother’s choices and Linda’s own decision to live differently. Coming to terms with scoliosis is one facet of her healing journey that she describes with astuteness:
“Recently, I’ve begun to think of scoliosis as a metaphor for my life. I’ve struggled to please teachers, employers, parents, boyfriends, husbands twisting myself into someone I can’t be. I hurt when I do this, because it’s not natural. And it never works.
But when I stretch my Self, instead, the results are different. When I’m reaching for my personal goals-to be a good mother, wife, friend and writer-I feel my balance return. And the sense of relief, as I become more the woman I truly am, is simply grand.”
Her yoga experience and language are in evidence here by her use of the word ‘Self’ which means soul or spirit in yoga terms. It's our essence, or True Self, the part that doesn't change as the physical body changes and dies. Linda's view of scoliosis as a metaphor for the pain that results from struggling in order to please others is in alignment with current energy medicine and trauma theory. In fact, energy medicine and trauma theory would say that the twists of scoliosis are actually the energy body being distorted and that distortion translates into the physical body. Personally, I was hoping for more exposition of this topic of transformation and being in alignment with Self.
Set in the 50s and 60s in Amsterdam, New York, a small factory town, the narrator deftly describes the working class life of her parents and their friends. Various themes related to these circumstances and how they impacted her emotional development and self-image are explored. Descriptive passages of the streets and buildings add colour and context. Her tone is one of clarity and she presents her inner life in an easily relatable way. Linda delves into how her upbringing in that setting shapes her character. She then describes how her character and worldview are both transformed by her decision to choose a different path than the one expected of her and modelled by by her parents. This movement towards individuation dramatically affects her relationships and is the source of many insights. Some early dark family history is balanced by later chapters describing an empowered woman with healthy boundaries and a nuanced view of her past and present.
This is Linda’s first book. She is a librarian and newspaper feature writer. She also teaches memoir writing in adult education classes. One chapter of the book is devoted to her life as a writer. In that chapter, along with some interesting revelations about her career, Linda discusses some choices she made about writing techniques in previous chapters. I found that particular section took me out of the story.
Overall, this is an inspiring book that I would recommend if you are struggling with feeling ‘different’ or not belonging in your family or community. There are some difficult parts to read relating to the abuse in her family. Linda chooses to contrast her early childhood years with stories of more recent family situations. These later chapters show major growth, self-awareness and understanding. Linda shows it is possible to learn from the past, accept it, move forward in a direction of one’s own and embrace what is present now. This is a life-affirming memoir.
Kathryn Kusyszyn is a yoga instructor specializing in scoliosis in Victoria BC. Her book Scoliosis Undone: Back pain relief with yoga is available on her website www.yogakat.ca