In this serial blog, Martha’s Healing Journey, Martha Carter talks about her personal journey, beginning with her diagnosis of scoliosis at age 13, all the way through her Harrington rod removal, along with sharing her past and ongoing in-depth explorations and discoveries with many different healing modalities and health practitioners.
We encourage you to start with Part 1.
Part 40 of Martha’s Healing Journey
… “The first step is to start to pay attention and learn to listen to your body… then learn to respond. Scoliosis affects the full body with its curves and twists, and having a fusion affects the whole body with its constant rigidity which in turn limits our full movement potential.” …
Read MorePart 39 of Martha’s Healing Journey
… “During the weeks leading up to surgery, I had anxiety-inducing nightmares around the surgery. Perhaps it’s because I have already endured a few major surgeries in the past and know they can be very uncomfortable? Or maybe it's more related to the stubborn delusion that I ‘should’ be able to overcome the pain on my own; to fix it myself?” …
Read MorePart 38 of Martha’s Healing Journey
“…I stood on the edge of the high bank waterfront with my arms open wide. I felt the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. My heart danced with joy, and I found myself singing OHMMMMM… known as the ‘primordial sound of the universe’. The name Open Heart Mind came to me at that moment, and we started planning.” …
Read MorePart 37 of Martha’s Healing Journey
“I felt shy and insecure, and wasn’t convinced that I would have anything interesting to say. But Patti’s charming guidance was irresistible. Within minutes, she got us to pick up our pens, and put words to our senses, reflections, and memories.” …
Read MorePart 36 of Martha’s Healing Journey
“The notion that our body is good and our own seems like a prerequisite to make the decision of taking on the enormous project of giving birth to another life. I guess it’s a real psychological thing. I don’t think I have ever remotely felt that my body is mine - that it is great and miraculous and all the things that female bodies are supposed to be. I have always been told that my body is twisted and crooked and messed up. Seems like there is some piece in there that creates extreme body-image discouragement. They tell us from the beginning, as soon as we are diagnosed, often early in life. We never get a period of time to grow up and feel free in our bodies without feeling like we are wrong.”
Read MorePart 35 of Martha’s Healing Journey
“As we move into 2023 with a new sense of emotional freedom and openness after that crazy crippling pandemic, it occurs to me that it’s important to mindfully explore more freedom and openness in the body as well.
We all know it's easy to get seduced into ‘getting into better shape’ New Year’s resolutions by hitting the gym, or exploring other new exercise or diet routines meant to transform our lives. I hear it all the time...”
Read MorePart 34 of Martha’s Healing Journey
One of the ongoing themes is how doctors are not helpful after surgery, and how there is NO FOLLOW-UP PROTOCOL for people with fusions.
This is crazy! The more I think about it, the more it upsets me.
But I digress...
Read MorePart 33 of Martha’s Healing Journey
When our bodies are relaxed and open, we are ready to absorb other new sensations, discoveries ,and experiences. And to do this in a place like Mexico adds to the richness of the experience as we find ourselves interacting with the people, culture, language, food, music, and astounding nature of the area.
Read MorePart 32 of Martha’s Healing Journey
Thanks to the many online connections throughout this past year, including hosting a monthly Fusion Support Group, I have had the incredible opportunity to talk about scoliosis more than usual, and with a larger and growing community from around the world than ever before.
So, to bring in this New Year, I thought I would share some of my new insights and lessons right here... in point form, and in no particular order!
Read MoreI absolutely love dance, and spent many, many years standing at a ballet barre.
From age 9 to 14, these were the best moments of my life.
After I had fusion surgery at 14 years old, I quickly understood that I would never be able to be a real ballerina.
Read MoreI'm 28 and had my spinal fusion 12 years ago, never really exercised, and I am sick of feeling stiff; I just don't know where to begin, what is safe - just machines like treadmills and bikes, or just yoga moves and weights? Can anyone guide me in the right direction?
Read MoreOver the past two weeks, I awaken each morning and have about 3 seconds of “ahhhhh”, and then I remember that we are in the midst of a very scary global pandemic—and my “ahhhhh” turns to “uggggh”. I immediately reach for my phone to look at the numbers in my area. Then I look at charts and updated graphs. I think about how ‘flattening the curve’ sounds like a principle from a Yoga for Scoliosis class. I try to not feel despair for all the people out there who don’t have the same privileges as me; for the huge numbers of people who are ill and struggling for breath; for the impending disaster heading for third-world ghettos where physical distancing is impossible; for the people on the front lines in the hospitals who are putting their lives at risk, etc, etc. I try to not cry.
I wonder what to do. Is there a way I can help?
Read MorePart 31 of Martha’s Healing Journey
“The body does not need to be corrected. It needs to be understood.”
This is what my friend and osteopath, Simon, said to me today as he gave me a treatment. It made me sigh, then smile, then frown. I immediately wondered if there was any chance my teenage scoliotic body could have been better ‘understood’ – rather than ‘corrected’ through dramatic fusion surgery – so many moons ago…
But I digress.
Read MorePart 30 of Martha’s Healing Journey
Throughout this blog, I have been writing about my healing journey, starting with the removal of my Harrington rods in 1995 when I was 35 years old — until today, where I am quickly approaching 60. Eek!
In some ways, I feel in better shape now than I was back then. That is because, regardless of the increasing wrinkles, extra flab, and age spots, I am much more mindful and aware about all aspects of my ‘soma'—my entire physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual being—than I have ever been before. Part of this has to do with life experience, but most of it is due to my constant search for different ways to be comfortable with my mostly uncomfortable fusion.
Yoga for Scoliosis, and yoga in general, has helped me tremendously, but I continue to find new layers of the ‘healing onion’ to explore.
Read MorePart 29 of Martha’s Healing Journey
A few weeks ago, I went to bed feeling fine.
When I tried to stand up the next morning, I was completely crooked.
I had such a sharp pain in my right sacroiliac joint that I was forced to tilt way over to the left, which made me feel completely crippled. I limped to the washroom, mumbling to myself about how this was impossible, and then dragged myself back to bed. I was fine the night before... What happened in my sleep?
Shit!!
Read MorePart 28 of Martha’s Healing Journey
Recently, I have been listening to many podcasts and watching Youtube videos exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by the acclaimed physician, speaker, teacher, and best-selling author, Dr. Gabor Maté. His talks are fascinating, sprinkled with insights from working as a physician, as well as his own personal experience dealing with addictions, depression, and anxiety. His research around trauma and healing intrigue me.
Read MorePart 27 of Martha’s Healing Journey
Recently, thanks to my work doing private consultations, classes, workshops and retreats, I have been meeting many wonderful ‘scoliotics’ and ‘fusioneers’. I am always amazed at the stories we share, and I continue to admire the incredible resilience shown by every single person with this confounding condition.
Recently, I worked with a lovely woman in her mid-50s, who has lived and survived a very similar scoliosis story to me - more or less.
Read MorePart 26 of Martha’s Healing Journey
In celebration of National Scoliosis Awareness month, I shared 10 Simple Exercises for Scoliosis and Fusions over the month of June via my slightly embarrassing but cute stick-figure drawings :)
They are truly simple, but they are also very effective. And they are accumulative.
The more you practice them, the more powerful they become.
Read MorePart 25 of Martha’s Healing Journey
When it comes to scoliosis, patience is everything.
Action, determination, and patience.
And trust.
And rest.
AND MINDFULNESS.
At least that’s what it feels like to me.
Following my confession last month about a frustrating day of body awareness and transformation, it occurs to me that by calling it a ‘day’, I am not fully recognizing the truth of my frustrations around scoliosis.
They are constant.
CONSTANT.
But, so?
Read MorePart 24 of Martha’s Healing Journey
This is a confession.
A confession in that as much as I am completely dedicated to exploring everything possible to help my body, it can be really hard.
Both physically and (sometimes even more) emotionally.