Part 46 of Martha’s Healing Journey
… “This is exactly the reason I am so grateful to have Somatics in my toolbox as it gives me very specific things to do in order to undo the stress and tension caused by the assaults of life.” …
Read MorePart 45 of Martha’s Healing Journey
… “I can hardly believe that it has taken me so long to really think about this; it has caused a lot of discomfort for me over the years. I often talk about my back, but I almost NEVER talk about my hernia. And that is exactly why it is important to have discussions like these in Support Group meetings (either the Fusion Support Group or the Twisty Scoliosis Support Group—or both!).
As more people join the support groups, there is more sharing of stories, issues, perspectives, philosophies, healing treatments, exercises, and helpful lifestyle changes. And in general, it is very comforting to be able to connect to an understanding and compassionate community who truly recognize the challenges from their own personal experiences of living with this confounding condition.” …
Read MorePart 44 of Martha’s Healing Journey
… “And that is my point: they FUSE the spine to keep it from MOVING… to stop it from bending or twisting and giving into impact. The fused vertebrae grow into one fused bone...It is an extremely invasive surgery, transforming the body from the inside out and impacting all of its systems forever more.” …
Read MorePart 43 of Martha’s Healing Journey
… “The knowledge, the insights, the physical shifts, the friendships, the new and ongoing connections, and especially the warmth of Elise, were extremely impactful to me in every aspect of my life.” …
Read MorePart 42 of Martha’s Healing Journey
… “I can definitely understand why it’s referred to as the ‘silent killer’ as it’s very hard to actually feel our own blood pressure. Thankfully, I noticed my heightened nervous system enough to get me to check my BP, but I have no idea how long it has been so high. Could this have come on suddenly, or has it been high for months? I have no idea. The doctor asked me why I don’t check it more regularly. I honestly didn’t realize I was supposed to, beyond the annual checkup. When did I miss that memo? And did I miss other symptoms?” …
Read MorePart 41 of Martha’s Healing Journey
… “My curves and twists seem to be increasing, even with a spinal fusion!! My right thoracic convexity seems more pronounced than I thought, and it certainly looks much ‘hump-ier’ than the one in my imagination. Although come to think of it, on bad days my hump feels even bigger. My concave side seems more collapsed than ever before, and I don’t remember seeing so many wrinkly folds of flesh under my left shoulder blade. Is that because my scoliosis is getting worse? Or simply because I am flabbier? Or a bit of both?” …
Read MorePart 40 of Martha’s Healing Journey
… “The first step is to start to pay attention and learn to listen to your body… then learn to respond. Scoliosis affects the full body with its curves and twists, and having a fusion affects the whole body with its constant rigidity which in turn limits our full movement potential.” …
Read MorePart 39 of Martha’s Healing Journey
… “During the weeks leading up to surgery, I had anxiety-inducing nightmares around the surgery. Perhaps it’s because I have already endured a few major surgeries in the past and know they can be very uncomfortable? Or maybe it's more related to the stubborn delusion that I ‘should’ be able to overcome the pain on my own; to fix it myself?” …
Read MorePart 38 of Martha’s Healing Journey
“…I stood on the edge of the high bank waterfront with my arms open wide. I felt the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. My heart danced with joy, and I found myself singing OHMMMMM… known as the ‘primordial sound of the universe’. The name Open Heart Mind came to me at that moment, and we started planning.” …
Read MorePart 37 of Martha’s Healing Journey
“I felt shy and insecure, and wasn’t convinced that I would have anything interesting to say. But Patti’s charming guidance was irresistible. Within minutes, she got us to pick up our pens, and put words to our senses, reflections, and memories.” …
Read MorePart 36 of Martha’s Healing Journey
“The notion that our body is good and our own seems like a prerequisite to make the decision of taking on the enormous project of giving birth to another life. I guess it’s a real psychological thing. I don’t think I have ever remotely felt that my body is mine - that it is great and miraculous and all the things that female bodies are supposed to be. I have always been told that my body is twisted and crooked and messed up. Seems like there is some piece in there that creates extreme body-image discouragement. They tell us from the beginning, as soon as we are diagnosed, often early in life. We never get a period of time to grow up and feel free in our bodies without feeling like we are wrong.”
Read MorePart 35 of Martha’s Healing Journey
“As we move into 2023 with a new sense of emotional freedom and openness after that crazy crippling pandemic, it occurs to me that it’s important to mindfully explore more freedom and openness in the body as well.
We all know it's easy to get seduced into ‘getting into better shape’ New Year’s resolutions by hitting the gym, or exploring other new exercise or diet routines meant to transform our lives. I hear it all the time...”
Read MorePart 34 of Martha’s Healing Journey
One of the ongoing themes is how doctors are not helpful after surgery, and how there is NO FOLLOW-UP PROTOCOL for people with fusions.
This is crazy! The more I think about it, the more it upsets me.
But I digress...
Read MorePart 33 of Martha’s Healing Journey
When our bodies are relaxed and open, we are ready to absorb other new sensations, discoveries ,and experiences. And to do this in a place like Mexico adds to the richness of the experience as we find ourselves interacting with the people, culture, language, food, music, and astounding nature of the area.
Read MorePart 32 of Martha’s Healing Journey
Thanks to the many online connections throughout this past year, including hosting a monthly Fusion Support Group, I have had the incredible opportunity to talk about scoliosis more than usual, and with a larger and growing community from around the world than ever before.
So, to bring in this New Year, I thought I would share some of my new insights and lessons right here... in point form, and in no particular order!
Read MoreI absolutely love dance, and spent many, many years standing at a ballet barre.
From age 9 to 14, these were the best moments of my life.
After I had fusion surgery at 14 years old, I quickly understood that I would never be able to be a real ballerina.
Read MoreI'm 28 and had my spinal fusion 12 years ago, never really exercised, and I am sick of feeling stiff; I just don't know where to begin, what is safe - just machines like treadmills and bikes, or just yoga moves and weights? Can anyone guide me in the right direction?
Read MorePart 31 of Martha’s Healing Journey
“The body does not need to be corrected. It needs to be understood.”
This is what my friend and osteopath, Simon, said to me today as he gave me a treatment. It made me sigh, then smile, then frown. I immediately wondered if there was any chance my teenage scoliotic body could have been better ‘understood’ – rather than ‘corrected’ through dramatic fusion surgery – so many moons ago…
But I digress.
Read MorePart 30 of Martha’s Healing Journey
Throughout this blog, I have been writing about my healing journey, starting with the removal of my Harrington rods in 1995 when I was 35 years old — until today, where I am quickly approaching 60. Eek!
In some ways, I feel in better shape now than I was back then. That is because, regardless of the increasing wrinkles, extra flab, and age spots, I am much more mindful and aware about all aspects of my ‘soma'—my entire physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual being—than I have ever been before. Part of this has to do with life experience, but most of it is due to my constant search for different ways to be comfortable with my mostly uncomfortable fusion.
Yoga for Scoliosis, and yoga in general, has helped me tremendously, but I continue to find new layers of the ‘healing onion’ to explore.
Read MorePart 29 of Martha’s Healing Journey
A few weeks ago, I went to bed feeling fine.
When I tried to stand up the next morning, I was completely crooked.
I had such a sharp pain in my right sacroiliac joint that I was forced to tilt way over to the left, which made me feel completely crippled. I limped to the washroom, mumbling to myself about how this was impossible, and then dragged myself back to bed. I was fine the night before... What happened in my sleep?
Shit!!
Read More